Pie Fatigue

When I set out on this little quest nine months ago, I was eager and optimistic. Now, with about three months left, I'm definitely dragging.

I never counted on Pie Fatigue setting in.

Besides being a little tired of eating my test pies, I'm having trouble staying motivated and have grown a little irritated with some of my so-called taste testers.

Mooches, more like it.

The last time I took a pie to work, it was devoured in hours, but a disproportionate number of evaluations were completed. I was left with an empty pie plate and not enough research data.

This ain't no free ride, baby.

Disheartened, my pie production has ground to a near-halt.

For a bake sale at my kid's school, instead of making a prize-worthy pie, burned out and pressed for time, I opted for store-bought bakery.

I browsed the pie section and found several poor excuses for pie:

Disgusted, I meandered over to the cookie aisle and settled on a few dozen iced beauties instead.

I did manage to eek out a pie for Easter. I tried that vodka pie dough recipe. As promised, it yielded an ubber tender crust, but was a bitch to roll out and crimp (super sticky). And, truthfully, the pie -- Raspberry-Apple -- tasted less than impressive on my weary palate.

I need a boost.

Maybe I need to taste some truly kick-ass pie to regain my motivation. To give me something to aspire to. To end this slump.

Maybe I need a kick-ass pie to, well, give me a kick in the ass.

Funny how my research phase was spent in the library -- and not out eating truly great pie.

So will an aggressive pie tasting campaign end this bout with Pie Fatigue?

Man, I hope so.

Drive-by dreams

I've got a confession. I'm obsessed with real estate.

Commercial real estate, specifically.

I've got a habit of driving past buildings and storefronts (repeatedly) and daydreaming about the kind of business I'd start if I owned it. (It drives my husband nuts.)

It's a perfectly harmless little game; I'm happy with my day job and have no intention of leaving it.

But still, I can't stop daydreaming about owning my own business someday and turning a tired, sad little storefront into something truly great. Into something that's all mine.

And as you may have guessed, now that I'm equally obsessed with pie, I daydream about chucking it all to have my own pie shop.

And of course, I found the perfect location:

Can't you just see "The Pie Shark" on the marquee? I can.

This now-defunct Hostess thrift store would make a totally kick-ass pie shop.

It's located just off a busy intersection, has ample, easy in-out parking and could be (with a lot of paint and imagination), cute as a button.

As you can guess, I've spent a lot of time (in my head), remodeling this little chunk of real estate. I even went so far as to find out how much it costs to buy the building outright. (Only $325K!)

Yes sir, it could be great.

Now, now. Before you call the psych ward for a curbside pickup, don't worry -- I'm a realist. I know a home-grown pie shop is not a sustainable business concept.

There's no way I could compete with the Sara Lee empire in my tiny (albeit cute as hell) operation.

But still, a girl can dream, can't she?

Practice makes perfect

I figure I've made more than 25 pies in the past 8 months. Considering the fact that I made exactly zero previously, I'd say that's pretty impressive.

Or obsessive, depending on your point of view.

While I've improved significantly, I certainly have not achieved master baker status.

Yes, I said 'master baker.'

While I've got some work to do in the taste department, I've come a long way in terms of technique.

I'm proud to say I now can roll out a pastry crust and transfer it to a pie plate without having a nervous breakdown. Also, I can peel a dozen apples fairly quickly, sparing the flesh, and without having my hands cramp mid-way through. And, my pie crimping technique has come a long way.

Flaky and delicious. Practice does make perfect.

I'm trying to cram years worth of experience into 365 very short days -- which has been challenging, but finally is feeling more rewarding.

128 days. Less than 5 months.

It only can get better from here on out. (She says optimistically.)

Classic Sugar Cream Pie

There's something appealing about entering an old school classic. Amidst all the fancy-schmancy entries, a no-frills, down-home pie could stand out above the rest.  

Chocolate cream pie

I'm sharing a basic, but tasty chocolate cream pie recipe I've found so you too can begin your love affair with cream pies. This recipe is especially easy if you use a prepared pie crust -- you'll never even have to turn on the oven!

Basic Chocolate Cream Pie

Ingredients
1 pie crust, baked (Oreo cookie or pastry dough -- homemade or otherwise -- your choice)

Filling
3/4 cup, plus 2 TB granulated sugar
3 1/2 TB cornstarch
pinch of salt
2 1/2 cups whole milk
4 large egg yolks
2 TB unsalted butter cut into 1/2-inch pieces
2 tsp vanilla extract
3 oz unsweetened chocolate, chopped

Pre-bake the crust, if needed, and set aside.

Directions

• Whisk together all the ingredients, except the butter, vanilla and chocolate, in a heavy saucepan and and cook over medium heat, whisking constantly  -- about 5 or so minutes. 
• Bring the mixture to a boil and continue whisking so it doesn't splatter -- about 1 minute more.
• Remove from the heat and add the butter a piece at a time, whisking to incorporate. 
• Whisk in the vanilla.
• Whisk in the chocolate bit by bit to make sure it melts completely. (You don't want someone to bite into a hunk of unsweetened chocolate!)
• When the mixture is nice and smooth, pour it into the pie shell and smooth the top with a spatula.
• Let it cool down some, then cover with plastic wrap, patting it down all around the filling. (Gaps will cause a skin to form on the top.) 
• Let the pie cool, then transfer it to the fridge to let it set for a day or so. 
• Serve with whipped cream.

There are countless ways to expand on this basic recipe. Flavored whipped cream, different kinds of crusts, incorporating fruit -- the combinations are endless.

Good luck!

Creamy and dreamy

Even though I haven't had much time to write about it, I've been having fun exploring the world of cream pies.

As I posted earlier, I have a tendency to pass on cream pies. (Uh, okay, I never eat cream pies.) My only experience with cream pies has been the ubber bland, plastic-tasting French Silk sold at my local pie-chain franchise.

Blech.

But now, challenged to learn the art of the cream pie, I've researched and whisked several marscapone cream cheese pies, various chocolate creams and just tonight, whipped up a good old-fashioned sugar cream.

And you know what? The more I make cream pies, the more I like them.

Cream pies are ridiculously simple to make and, unlike pies using fresh fruit that can vary in taste and texture, they turn out consistently delicious every time. Plus, you don't have to spend a lot of fancy ingredients to make a damn good cream pie.

Take the sugar cream.

You simply bring sugar, unsalted butter, cornstarch, and milk to a boil, add some vanilla and then pour the mixture into a baked crust.

Viola! It doesn't get easier than that.

And if not for the cream pie, I wouldn't have tried making homemade whipped cream.

I grew up eating Cool Whip and the occasional spray can stuff and thought it was fine -- until I tasted the real thing. Now, there's no way in hell I'll top one of my prize-winners with store-bought whipped cream.

Sacrilege!

Again, so easy, it's crazy. Beat heavy whipping cream and powdered sugar until soft peaks form. That's it. Two ingredients. I'll never use the store-bought stuff again.

The other thing I love about a cream pie is that you need to make it the day before you need it. It needs time to set in the fridge -- perfect for submitting multiple pies in this competition.

Where once I thought cream lacked steam, now I know that cream's a dream.

Hiatus

This past fall, I was averaging about a pie a week. I was a baking machine.

I'd get up early to make dough and, while making boo-boo faces at the baby, would chop up whatever fruit I had on hand to complete the pie. Any ounce of free time was spent making or researching pie.

Then life got in the way.

My day job (working full time in corporate communications) got super busy and my night/early morning job (being a mom to four) also had me hopping.

On top of that, for nearly three months straight, at least one family member was sick. The kids' school and church commitments had us running around like nut balls and the frenzy of the holidays just about pushed me over the edge.

Pie making moved to the bottom of my to-do list.

And besides glancing occasionally at the countdown app on my phone (184 days until the contest, by the way), I nearly forgot about my quest altogether -- so much so, when the holidays rolled around, instead of making a pie, I tried my hand at my first-ever chocolate cheesecake, which was ahh-mazing. So chocolaty, so rich -- pure heaven on a fork. (But I digress.)

So now with the holidays squarely behind me and work/kid stuff seeming more manageable, I look to the year ahead, renewing my commitment to sweep into that Fourth of July bake-off and kick some serious ass.

I'm going to approach the remaining six months methodically:

In January, I will experiment more in the cream pie category with the goal of perfecting a chocolate cream pie with raspberry coulis (my new favorite thing).

February through March, I need to get back to berries and find the perfect, not-too-seedy, berry combination.

April through May, it's do or die for finding the winning fruit pie submission.

And in June, I'll refine my apple pie recipe (it's pretty close now).

When I get back to work on Tuesday, I'll put in for vacation the week of the contest. I can't let a silly little thing like work get in the way.

Yes sir. It's gonna be a busy year.